"The family is ordained of God. Marriage between man and woman is essential to His eternal plan. Children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony, and to be reared by a father and a mother who honor marital vows with complete fidelity. Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ." -The Family: A Proclamation to the World
"There is beauty all around when there's love at home." -Love at Home, LDS Hymnal
In our quest to faithfully live and experience reality, is there anything more real than our relationships with others? Are there any relationships more central to our happiness and well-being than those found in the family? How disappointing when our tender hopes for the ideal family described above rudely meet the realities of daily living in an imperfect world!
But what if the gap between "the ideal" and "reality" is smaller than we think? A gap that we, with our loved ones, could easily bridge? Why would we settle for less? Nobody, whether single or married, wealthy or poor, healthy or sick, childless or child...ful; nobody wants to settle. To "settle" implies that we have accepted much less than we could have had. It implies a willingness to trade our fondest, if temporarily unrealized, desires for something of much less worth, all because of its ready availability.
So if nobody wants to settle (above all in matters of family love) why do we do it so often?
When cheap professional accolades replace long-term, hard-won family tranquility as our ultimate focus, we settle.
When we gratify our pride in the moment with sharp retorts, rather than develop a habit of soft, loving responses, we settle.
When we selfishly substitute pornography, romance novels, or virtual socializing for real, worthwhile relationships, we settle.
When we overindulge in food or slovenly, ultra-casual dress, making ourselves less attractive to our (current/future) spouses in the process, we settle.
When family conversations become a cacophony of self-centered diatribes rather than a symphony of selfless listening, we settle.
When online video games or frivolous gossip sessions replace quality, nurturing time with our spouses or children, we settle.
When enervating expressions of doubt override enabling faith and the mutual courage to trust; when nagging replaces encouragement*; when our "love" and "affection" become conditional, we settle.
It is a constant challenge of mortality to learn to press forward with an eternal perspective, with that "perfect brightness of hope" that leads so naturally to a "love of God and of all men." (2 Nephi 31:20) We refuse to settle for anything less from life than steadfast "Love at Home" when we replace instant gratification with eternal reward. When we sow daily acts of kindness, solicitous selflessness, tender and unconditional affection, ready encouragement, an unwavering loyalty, the harvest of family love that we reap will multiply throughout the ages.
As "children of God" (Romans 8:16), we are rightful heirs to our own heavenly home. A loving family is promised to all who faithfully live with an eternal perspective.
Why settle for anything less?
*As an example of wonderful encouragement, a gentle challenge lovingly issued with the absolute confidence that those challenged are equal to the task, see this stirring address by Elaine S. Dalton:
http://lds.org/general-conference/2011/10/love-her-mother?lang=eng
"There is beauty all around when there's love at home." -Love at Home, LDS Hymnal
In our quest to faithfully live and experience reality, is there anything more real than our relationships with others? Are there any relationships more central to our happiness and well-being than those found in the family? How disappointing when our tender hopes for the ideal family described above rudely meet the realities of daily living in an imperfect world!
But what if the gap between "the ideal" and "reality" is smaller than we think? A gap that we, with our loved ones, could easily bridge? Why would we settle for less? Nobody, whether single or married, wealthy or poor, healthy or sick, childless or child...ful; nobody wants to settle. To "settle" implies that we have accepted much less than we could have had. It implies a willingness to trade our fondest, if temporarily unrealized, desires for something of much less worth, all because of its ready availability.
So if nobody wants to settle (above all in matters of family love) why do we do it so often?
When cheap professional accolades replace long-term, hard-won family tranquility as our ultimate focus, we settle.
When we gratify our pride in the moment with sharp retorts, rather than develop a habit of soft, loving responses, we settle.
When we selfishly substitute pornography, romance novels, or virtual socializing for real, worthwhile relationships, we settle.
When we overindulge in food or slovenly, ultra-casual dress, making ourselves less attractive to our (current/future) spouses in the process, we settle.
When family conversations become a cacophony of self-centered diatribes rather than a symphony of selfless listening, we settle.
When online video games or frivolous gossip sessions replace quality, nurturing time with our spouses or children, we settle.
When enervating expressions of doubt override enabling faith and the mutual courage to trust; when nagging replaces encouragement*; when our "love" and "affection" become conditional, we settle.
It is a constant challenge of mortality to learn to press forward with an eternal perspective, with that "perfect brightness of hope" that leads so naturally to a "love of God and of all men." (2 Nephi 31:20) We refuse to settle for anything less from life than steadfast "Love at Home" when we replace instant gratification with eternal reward. When we sow daily acts of kindness, solicitous selflessness, tender and unconditional affection, ready encouragement, an unwavering loyalty, the harvest of family love that we reap will multiply throughout the ages.
As "children of God" (Romans 8:16), we are rightful heirs to our own heavenly home. A loving family is promised to all who faithfully live with an eternal perspective.
Why settle for anything less?
*As an example of wonderful encouragement, a gentle challenge lovingly issued with the absolute confidence that those challenged are equal to the task, see this stirring address by Elaine S. Dalton:
http://lds.org/general-conference/2011/10/love-her-mother?lang=eng
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