"Press forward with a steadfastness in Christ, having a perfect brightness of hope, and a love of God and of all men." -2 Nephi 31:20
"Hope cometh of faith, maketh an anchor to the souls of men, which would make them sure and steadfast, always abounding in good works, being led to glorify God." -Ether 12:4
Every relationship has its ups and downs. Romance occasionally misplaces its spark. Parenthood loses its patience. A friendship begins to feel like a social rut. And our own cyclical moods are often the root of the problem. At times, we look forward easily with an eye of faith, seeing the best in our loved ones instinctively. At other times, we find our vision darkened by doubt, frustration, apathy, or fear. It's natural. Og Mandino captures this fickle facet of humanity nicely:
"Inside me is a wheel, constantly turning from sadness to joy, from exultation to depression, from happiness to melancholy. Like the flowers, today's full bloom of joy will fade and wither into despondency, yet I will remember that as today's dead flower carries the seed of tomorrow's bloom so, too, does today's sadness carry the seed of tomorrow's joy." (Og Mandino, The Greatest Salesman in the World, p.79)
Fortunately, carefully nurturing those seeds of joy within ourselves and those entrusted to our care is one of the primary purposes of this refining and edifying experience we call mortality, and is thus wholly within our grasp.
Yet our virtual age, with all its emphasis on instant gratification and capricious impulse would have us tossed to and fro on the fickle waves of "in-the-moment" emotion. If a couple has a hard day, it was never meant to be! If a child disappoints in the moment, he's throwing his life away! If a friend unintentionally slights us, can an electronic "de-friending" be far away? At times it seems as though our light-speed society has us so concerned with our own minute-to-minute happiness that we neglect the long-term wellbeing of those most important to us, thus ensuring that our self-centered pursuit of ephemeral contentment remains a futile one.
We could fill volumes with the different methods at our disposal to combat the emotional vicissitudes of our own natures, and foster steadfastness in our own relationships, but one rises above the rest: Hope.
Daniel Coleman observes that "hope, modern researchers are finding, does more than offer a bit of solace amid affliction; it plays a surprisingly potent role in life, offering an advantage in realms as diverse as school achievement and bearing up in onerous jobs. Hope, in a technical sense, is more than the sunny view that everything will turn out all right. Snyder defines it with more specificity as 'believing you have both the will and the way to accomplish your goals, whatever they may be.'" (Daniel Coleman, Emotional Intelligence, p. 87)
Whatever our goals in life, can any of them supersede the importance of our loved ones' happiness? Therefore, when momentary disappointments would emotionally distance us from those who matter most, choose to hope.
Choose to hope. There's a reason Pandora went WWF with a flying elbow drop to keep hope in that box. Choose to hope for the best, to look for and see the best in our loved ones. That hope will anchor our soul in devotion to our friends and family, making us "sure and steadfast" in time of momentary distress, doubt, or impatience with them. Choosing to hope helps us to fulfill the old adage that in the odd gaps when we are not in love, we remain "in commitment" to our spouse, our children, our parents, our friends, and even ourselves. Emotional steadiness, selflessness, and loyalty become easier when we gaze at our loved ones with an "eye of faith" rather than the jaundiced glance of critical cynicism.
So the next time we have a bad date, receive a child's disappointing report card, or feel let-down by a friend (you know who you are) on our half birthday, may we allow hope to become that anchor which makes us "sure and steadfast, always abounding in good works" for those who matter most.
"Hope cometh of faith, maketh an anchor to the souls of men, which would make them sure and steadfast, always abounding in good works, being led to glorify God." -Ether 12:4
Every relationship has its ups and downs. Romance occasionally misplaces its spark. Parenthood loses its patience. A friendship begins to feel like a social rut. And our own cyclical moods are often the root of the problem. At times, we look forward easily with an eye of faith, seeing the best in our loved ones instinctively. At other times, we find our vision darkened by doubt, frustration, apathy, or fear. It's natural. Og Mandino captures this fickle facet of humanity nicely:
"Inside me is a wheel, constantly turning from sadness to joy, from exultation to depression, from happiness to melancholy. Like the flowers, today's full bloom of joy will fade and wither into despondency, yet I will remember that as today's dead flower carries the seed of tomorrow's bloom so, too, does today's sadness carry the seed of tomorrow's joy." (Og Mandino, The Greatest Salesman in the World, p.79)
Fortunately, carefully nurturing those seeds of joy within ourselves and those entrusted to our care is one of the primary purposes of this refining and edifying experience we call mortality, and is thus wholly within our grasp.
Yet our virtual age, with all its emphasis on instant gratification and capricious impulse would have us tossed to and fro on the fickle waves of "in-the-moment" emotion. If a couple has a hard day, it was never meant to be! If a child disappoints in the moment, he's throwing his life away! If a friend unintentionally slights us, can an electronic "de-friending" be far away? At times it seems as though our light-speed society has us so concerned with our own minute-to-minute happiness that we neglect the long-term wellbeing of those most important to us, thus ensuring that our self-centered pursuit of ephemeral contentment remains a futile one.
We could fill volumes with the different methods at our disposal to combat the emotional vicissitudes of our own natures, and foster steadfastness in our own relationships, but one rises above the rest: Hope.
Daniel Coleman observes that "hope, modern researchers are finding, does more than offer a bit of solace amid affliction; it plays a surprisingly potent role in life, offering an advantage in realms as diverse as school achievement and bearing up in onerous jobs. Hope, in a technical sense, is more than the sunny view that everything will turn out all right. Snyder defines it with more specificity as 'believing you have both the will and the way to accomplish your goals, whatever they may be.'" (Daniel Coleman, Emotional Intelligence, p. 87)
Whatever our goals in life, can any of them supersede the importance of our loved ones' happiness? Therefore, when momentary disappointments would emotionally distance us from those who matter most, choose to hope.
Choose to hope. There's a reason Pandora went WWF with a flying elbow drop to keep hope in that box. Choose to hope for the best, to look for and see the best in our loved ones. That hope will anchor our soul in devotion to our friends and family, making us "sure and steadfast" in time of momentary distress, doubt, or impatience with them. Choosing to hope helps us to fulfill the old adage that in the odd gaps when we are not in love, we remain "in commitment" to our spouse, our children, our parents, our friends, and even ourselves. Emotional steadiness, selflessness, and loyalty become easier when we gaze at our loved ones with an "eye of faith" rather than the jaundiced glance of critical cynicism.
So the next time we have a bad date, receive a child's disappointing report card, or feel let-down by a friend (you know who you are) on our half birthday, may we allow hope to become that anchor which makes us "sure and steadfast, always abounding in good works" for those who matter most.
I'm reminded of a quote from an old Elder Maxwell address I listened to yesterday. The last line is most applicable to the post, but the preceding lines set it up nicely:
ReplyDelete"There is also a dimension of patience which links it to a special reverence for life. Patience is a willingness, in a sense, to watch the unfolding purposes of God with a sense of wonder and awe, rather than pacing up and down within the cell of our circumstance. Put another way, too much anxious opening of the oven door and the cake falls instead of rising. So it is with us. If we are always selfishly taking our temperature to see if we are happy, we won't be."
To quote one Bryce G., "Whoah!"
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