Lighting the Hero Within

“Never was there a time in the history of the world when moral heroes were more needed. The world waits for such. The providence of God has commanded science to labor and prepare the way for such. For them she is laying her iron tracks, and stretching her wires, and bridging the oceans. But where are they?” [Unknown Quote]

"We see life's true worth in the luminous souls around us." (Author, "FidelityForLife blot post, 26 June 2011) 

You know what we could really use around here?  Some good old-fashioned heroism.*  On this up-and-down journey we call mortality, our loved ones need, and deserve, heroes (or heroines, as the case may be).  They deserve role models willing to shine as lights, to reflect His light with their "good works:" their kind words, their selfless service, their courage to hope and love and live.

Of course, we’re not perfect.  And the "good news" of the Gospel is that we don't have to be.  Nor can we afford to wait until we are.  Recall the story of the Jaredites.**

Imagine that we are all sailing in the “barges of mortality,” confined within the wooden walls of the veil, and thus often unable to see the greater perspective of our mortal journey.  At times we may feel as though we are buried in the depths of the sea; at other times as though we are riding the crests of the waves.  So often we may have little or no control over the sea of life through which we are called to sail, but we can control the light we give off during the voyage.  Perhaps we are imperfect, rough-hewn stones--eminently humble things, but with the potential to be touched by our Savior to reflect His light to our brothers and sisters who sail in darkness.  

The Holy Scriptures and latter-day counsel are replete with the symbolism of light for those who are converted to the principles of applied Christianity:

• “Their souls were illuminated by the light of the everlasting word” (Alma 5:7)
• “The gospel of Jesus Christ is not a religion of mourning and gloom. The faith of our fathers is one of hope and joy. It is not a gospel of chains but a gospel of wings. To embrace it fully is to be filled with wonder and to walk with an inner fire. Our Savior proclaimed, "I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.” (Elder Wirthlin, “The Abundant Life” [Italics added])
• “Ye are the light of the world.” (Matthew 5:14)
• “Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.” (Matthew 5:16)

It’s easy to mistake heroism with the shallow imitations we see in today's pervasive pop-culture.  It's easy to live life under a media bushel, distracted by computer games, questionable films, low-quality TV, vapid internet indulgence, and soul-numbing, raunchy music...but it's only a life half-lived. 

As it turns out, you don't need superhuman strength to be a hero.  You don't need an iron will that never falters, a catchy soundtrack, or even a super-secret lair (though, admittedly, that would be pretty sweet).  When it comes to your spouse, your parents, your kids, your friends and your neighbors, you just need to show up.  

You just need to be there.  

Physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually--present, doing your best to reflect the light of divine love by listening, by encouraging, by serving, by sharing.  True heroes are willing, despite their imperfections, to shine anyway.   

So...as captivating as the dull flicker of this computer monitor is, don't you have some light that needs sharing elsewhere?

*And some Oreos.  Lots of 'em.

**This particular story begins in the Book of Mormon, Ether chapter 3, with one of the most beautifully humble prayers in all scripture.

Let's hear it for Bad Days!

“For it must needs be, that there is an opposition in all things. If not so...righteousness could not be brought to pass, neither wickedness, neither holiness nor misery, neither good nor bad.” (2 Nephi 2:11)
“Peace be unto thy soul; thine adversity and thine afflictions shall be but a small moment....Thy friends do stand by thee.” (D&;C 121:7-9)


Bad days.

We all have them.  No matter how on-the-ball we think we are, sooner or later we have a "bad day." Sometimes it's a "bad week."  In hindsight, I'm pretty sure I had a "bad junior high."  It's just part of life.  A crucial part of life, in fact; the emotional and circumstantial crucible (new vocab word!) in which we forge our own characters.  

Tenderness for a wife?  Unwavering support of a husband?  Assiduous nurturing of a son or daughter? Selfless service to a friend?  Faith, hope, charity and love?  Please.  Easily done...on our good days. Then there are the days of two-hour traffic jams.  And unmet work deadlines.  Failed school exams. Illness.  Discouragement.  Creamy peanut butter in the cupboard (I only do chunky!).    

Each of us has different ways of coping with life in all its unpredictable, often inconvenient, yet ultimately priceless complexity.  For introverts and extroverts alike, a time-honored remedy for the blues is a bit of time alone, in peace and quiet, to put things back into perspective.  But where's that fine line between a well-deserved break from the world and risky emotional withdrawal?  Where does healing, reflective solitude end and poisonous, self-centered wallowing begin?

Oh, I don't know.

Or do I?

No, I really don't.  That fine line is different for each of us.  But there are a few general principles that might prove helpful:
Family and friends, by definition, are there to listen, to uplift, to empathize and hug.  Allowing them to do so in our own times of need not only comforts us, it validates them as well.
Self-imposed emotional isolation does not, and never did, equate “strength.”
We're not the only ones who have bad days.  The more we find ourselves concerned with our own blown-out-of-proportion misery, the more we jeopardize our emotional recovery while ignoring the needs of our loved ones next door.
Our virtual age is positively drowning in the siren songs of escapism, self-centered gratification, and me-centric technological entertainment, hawked and advertised as pillars of the modern lifestyle and panaceas for boredom, discouragement, loneliness, and sadness.  And to the extent they separate us from real-time, intimate relationships, they undermine our best remedies for the “bad days:” 
Holding a girlfriend's hand; 
Sincerely thanking a parent; 
Hugging a child; 
Encouraging a boyfriend; 
Embracing a spouse; 
...Living, and living well.

Steadfastness in Hope

"Press forward with a steadfastness in Christ, having a perfect brightness of hope, and a love of God and of all men." -2 Nephi 31:20

"Hope cometh of faith, maketh an anchor to the souls of men, which would make them sure and steadfast, always abounding in good works, being led to glorify God." -Ether 12:4

Every relationship has its ups and downs.  Romance occasionally misplaces its spark.  Parenthood loses its patience.  A friendship begins to feel like a social rut.  And our own cyclical moods are often the root of the problem.  At times, we look forward easily with an eye of faith, seeing the best in our loved ones instinctively.  At other times, we find our vision darkened by doubt, frustration, apathy, or fear.  It's natural.  Og Mandino captures this fickle facet of humanity nicely:

"Inside me is a wheel, constantly turning from sadness to joy, from exultation to depression, from happiness to melancholy.  Like the flowers, today's full bloom of joy will fade and wither into despondency, yet I will remember that as today's dead flower carries the seed of tomorrow's bloom so, too, does today's sadness carry the seed of tomorrow's joy." (Og Mandino, The Greatest Salesman in the World, p.79)

Fortunately, carefully nurturing those seeds of joy within ourselves and those entrusted to our care is one of the primary purposes of this refining and edifying experience we call mortality, and is thus wholly within our grasp.

Yet our virtual age, with all its emphasis on instant gratification and capricious impulse would have us tossed to and fro on the fickle waves of "in-the-moment" emotion.  If a couple has a hard day, it was never meant to be!  If a child disappoints in the moment, he's throwing his life away!  If a friend unintentionally slights us, can an electronic "de-friending" be far away?  At times it seems as though our light-speed society has us so concerned with our own minute-to-minute happiness that we neglect the long-term wellbeing of those most important to us, thus ensuring that our self-centered pursuit of ephemeral contentment remains a futile one.

We could fill volumes with the different methods at our disposal to combat the emotional vicissitudes of our own natures, and foster steadfastness in our own relationships, but one rises above the rest: Hope.

Daniel Coleman observes that "hope, modern researchers are finding, does more than offer a bit of solace amid affliction; it plays a surprisingly potent role in life, offering an advantage in realms as diverse as school achievement and bearing up in onerous jobs.  Hope, in a technical sense, is more than the sunny view that everything will turn out all right.  Snyder defines it with more specificity as 'believing you have both the will and the way to accomplish your goals, whatever they may be.'" (Daniel Coleman, Emotional Intelligence, p. 87)

Whatever our goals in life, can any of them supersede the importance of our loved ones' happiness?  Therefore, when momentary disappointments would emotionally distance us from those who matter most, choose to hope.

Choose to hope.  There's a reason Pandora went WWF with a flying elbow drop to keep hope in that box.  Choose to hope for the best, to look for and see the best in our loved ones.  That hope will anchor our soul in devotion to our friends and family, making us "sure and steadfast" in time of momentary distress, doubt, or impatience with them.  Choosing to hope helps us to fulfill the old adage that in the odd gaps when we are not in love, we remain "in commitment" to our spouse, our children, our parents, our friends, and even ourselves.  Emotional steadiness, selflessness, and loyalty become easier when we gaze at our loved ones with an "eye of faith" rather than the jaundiced glance of critical cynicism.

So the next time we have a bad date, receive a child's disappointing report card, or feel let-down by a friend (you know who you are) on our half birthday, may we allow hope to become that anchor which makes us "sure and steadfast, always abounding in good works" for those who matter most.