What do you want?

"The desire of the righteous shall be granted." -Proverbs 10:24

"You want something, go get it.  Period." -The Pursuit of Happyness, 2006

"What desirest thou?" -1 Nephi 11:2

The modern life is the busy life.  It is the multi-tasking life.  It is the technologically enabled and expanded life.  The personalized, bookmarked, set-your-own-theme life.

And all too often, it becomes the unfocused life.  The uncommitted life.  The self-centered life.  The lonely life.  The life that presents so many options that it becomes easy to forget what we really want.  

So what do we want out of life?  What do we want out of the relationships that constitute "life" in any meaningful sense?  And what are we willing to do (i.e. to change) to make desires reality?

The modern miracles of technology inundate our daily lives with so much data that it can be easy to confuse "information" with "action."  This applies to the manner in which we invest in our relationships, be they romantic, parent-child, or friend-friend.  Sometimes we make the mistake of abdicating our own responsibility to live according to our righteous desires by holding back (i.e. withholding our hearts, our commitment, our best selves) until we receive divine revelation on what is "right."  We refuse to move forward in a committed direction until the universe aligns in that perfect cosmic fit (that perfect "social app") that...while it hasn't really ever come before, is sure to be just around the corner...right?

But when we focus so much on figuring out what is "right," we run the risk, along the way, of utterly failing to be a positive influence in the lives of those who are important to us.  And our doubts become self-fulfilling.  Why would we receive divine approbation for something we're not sure we want in the first place?  There is a tremendous difference between approaching the Lord with the wavering question "Is this right?" and the more hopeful "According to the righteous desires with which Thou hast blessed me, I want this.  Thy will permitting, what can I do to win your approval for this blessing?"

In short, there is tremendous power in deciding what we want in righteousness and living accordingly; in choosing a committed life over a busy life.  

So when it comes to nurturing a marriage, attracting a future spouse, raising a headstrong child, or connecting with work colleagues and friends...

What do you truly want?

"Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness. Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then providence moves too. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one's favor all manner of unforeseen incidents, meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamt would have come his way. I learned a deep respect for one of Goethe's couplets:

Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it.

Boldness has genius, power and magic in it." -W.H. Murray, The Scottish Himalayan Expedition, 1951

Worth fighting for.

"If it was right when you prayed about it and trusted it and lived for it, it is right now." -Jeffrey R. Holland, Cast Not Away Therefore Thy Confidence

"Pursue your goals with all your heart, might, mind, and strength.  You are doomed to failure if you pursue them in a vacillating manner." -Robert D. Hales, Ten Axiom to Guide Your Life


"Sam: 'Folk in those stories had lots of chances of turning back, only they didn't.  They kept going.  Because they were holding on to something.'  Frodo: 'What are we holding onto, Sam?'  Sam: 'That there's some good in this world, Mr. Frodo...and it's worth fighting for.'" The Two Towers (2002 Film)

There are some things in life worth fighting for.  Call them goals, call them priorities, call them treasures of the heart; ultimately, they are the reason we arise each morning with purpose.

People are worth fighting for.

In a society increasingly focused on instant gratification, illusory perfection and misleading superficiality, the patience-trying, at times glaringly imperfect and frustratingly complex people that fill our lives are worth fighting for.  The children's drawings on our refrigerators outshine the framed degrees on our walls.  The warm memories of Christmas conversations with loving parents outlast the company's holiday bonus check.  The quiet movie night with our spouse at home lifts us more than any exotic business trip.  The people standing at our graveside overshadow any other ephemeral "life achievements."

Loved ones are worth fighting for.

A Facebook "friendship" only intrudes on your space when it's convenient.  A romance novel only asks for your time when you're ready to waste it.  The ideal spouse, the perfect child, the sibling we wish we had...they're easy to love in the abstract.  But ours is the enriching opportunity to nurture friendships even when it's inconvenient, to sacrifice time for the pursuit of meaningful romance, to love the wonderfully imperfect spouse, child, and sibling who make life worth living.

We fight for our loved ones when we:

• Make them a priority; when we fit our schedules around them.
• Learn what makes them feel loved, and adjust our efforts of affection accordingly.
• Put their own well-being and happiness above our own self-centered doubts, frustrations, distractions and routines.
• Magnify our gender roles to provide and protect (men) or support and nurture (women).
• Avoid the trap of filling our life with so many good things (jobs, education, church responsibilities, hobbies) that we're too busy for the great things.
• See their potential with an eye of faith and recognize our own power to help them achieve it.

Ours is the opportunity to become a positive, uplifting influence in the lives of our loved ones as we truly learn to "lose ourselves in the service of others" by eschewing the modern-day temptations of "virtual" relationships, isolating entertainment, and multi-tasking "busy-ness" for the rich blessings of focused and steadfast commitment towards others.

And that's worth fighting for.